Alexander Contrarian, prolific writer on Contrarian And Free, who has published mindblowing articles such as "What Is The Black Pill?", has been petitioned to become the new White House Press Secretary if enough signatures are collected.
In the White House petition, the proposal is motivated this way:
Alexander Contrarian is the perfect job candidate, as evidenced by his contributions to Contrarian And Free . A steadfast believer in extremely limited government or even no government at all, he would be a voice of reason to the President, the press and American people, and to the rest of the world.
Enter your signature now, please.